Today concludes my 11 months and 2 weeks in my first real job. That's kind of a big deal. Similar to Ron Burgundy. Freaks me out a little. I've been lucky enough to have a good job when so many people do not. Not gonna lie though, I'm leaving this position grateful but completely ready to move on. And my next position is going to be far from a cake walk but it's something new, interesting, challenging and worthwhile. Which is right up my alley at the moment.
It's right up my alley because for whatever reason I'm leaning right into change. I want it to happen. I'm ready to make some changes when normally I shy away from it. Historically, I haven't transitioned well. My mind and body both react negatively to major changes in circumstance or mindset. I think to an extent I'm still reacting negatively, but just in a "I want to do something totally crazy" way instead of a "im terrified, can i sink farther under these covers?" way. Weird.
But fret-not dear ones, my crazy is way less crazy than most people's crazy. My crazy means dying my hair brown. Which I haven't done yet but definitely have a mind to do come my hair appointment one week from today. As a natural blonde going on 24 years, that's pretty big. For someone who had hairdressers gasp at the color of her hair for years, going brown is almost sac-religious. Like I said. Crazy. Don't care. I'm doin it anyway.
I've been hustling my butt off for a year and I think I just need a change. And I feel SO compelled to do it. I feel I'm having this desire for a reason and I should follow my heart on this one. I'll definitely post a picture once I do it. AHHHHHHH.
Like I feel compelled to dye my hair brown, Liz Gilbert felt compelled to travel to Italy, India and Indonesia in "Eat, Pray, Love". I'm reading EPL right now after having tried once before and making it about half way through. I'm in a completely different place now than when I tried to read it before and I think it resonates much more with me now. In accordance with that, I just won tickets to a sneak preview of the movie for Wednesday! I'm really excited because it seems like its going to actually be a great transition from book to movie.
The trailer for the movie features the song "Dog Days are Over" by the band Florence + The Machine. It is such an uplifting, boppy, beautiful song and I just can't get enough of it or her right now. Her music is putting me in a better place. She uses harp in her band and it is so gorgeous. A specific choreographer on one of my favorite shows, So You Think You Can Dance, keeps choreographing to her music too so I'm just surrounded by Flo.
I'm currently in Houston Hobby airport waiting for my flight back to San Antonio from being in New Orleans visiting my family for the weekend. I was literally in New Orleans for 40 hours because like I said previously I really can't afford to take any vacation now when I have so much to learn at work. Anyway, it was a good trip but definitely sad. My last living grandparent, my Dad's father, is 90. He is now at the age where his deterioration will start moving much more rapidly. In the 8 months since the last trip I made to New Orleans, things have gotten progressively worse. He has Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's affects each person differently and for my PawPaw, his short term memory is going first. He can give you an extremely detailed play by play of his hitchhiking journeys in the 1940's but he has no idea what year it is now. He can't remember that I graduated from college. But he has 2 great grandchildren that are 5 and 2 and he knows them. It's just a frightening realization that I didn't have to face with any other grandparent. And I can't surpress the guilt that maybe he would know me better if I could see him more often. But when I told him about my job and life he was so excited that I was making my own way. And that all started with him. So that's a new little hope. What I'm doing now will someday be reflected back to me in my grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Lookin forward to it.
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